Giving credit where credit is due

Throughout my struggles with weight there is one thing that has been consistent. No matter what I do, whether it's good or bad I fail to give my self credit or take responsibility. Example: The other night I was at youth group and somebody brought in a bunch of cupcakes. I had eaten relatively well throughout the day so I decided to treat myself. The first cupcake was SO good. It tasted exactly how I wanted it to and I was very satisfied with it. If I had stopped at one cupcake this post would be much shorter but... I had a second cupcake. The thing is, when I took the first bite it didn't taste half as good as the first cupcake and I knew that I wasn't really craving the cupcake and I should have put it down. When I finished the second one, I felt guilty AND I was too full. To say the least, I was disappointed in myself for eating the cupcake even though I knew all along that I shouldn't have. However, it could have been much worse. I could have completely fallen off the wagon and said, "screw it, I already messed up so there's no point in trying to fix it now."

Long story short, I am working on finding the positive and negative in all situations especially when it comes to food. Bad thing: I OVERindulged. Good thing: I didn't eat the whole box.

Anyway, I'm about 7 lbs away from hitting my first milestone, -50 lbs. Hopefully I'll be able to hit that mark and keep on working my way towards Onederland ;)

I've been stuck around 230 for months now, so I'm working hard to break through my plateau!

Vacation Mindset... Sort of

I had this week off from school so a few friends and I went to Monterey to hang out by the bay for a few days. We were staying at a Conference Center so all the meals were prepared in a dining hall which I wasn't a huge fan of. Most days we ate breakfast in the dining hall, made our own lunches, and went to dinner. This was nice because it was very laid back, but I was not doing a very good job of tracking AND I wasn't going to the gym. So in order to get in a good workout, we did a lot of walking everyday. I was expecting a large gain on the scale when I weighed in today, but I only gained 1.5 lbs! Though I usually wouldn't celebrate a gain, I was very pleased that it was such a small number. I think a large part of that was because most of the week, I stopped eating when I was full (even at restaurants!!). I felt a lot better because my stomach AND my head felt satisfied and I was really proud of myself for putting down my fork before I ate everything on the plate. I'm working on listening to my stomach, rather then my head.

I would say, it was a very successful vacation after all. Oh and today I went Prom dress shopping with a friend and I was surprised to find that every dress I tried on zipped up without a problem. I was elated!!

Broken Body Parts!

Sooo, what to do when you have an injury? I'm slightly nervous because I know that a lot of the weight I lose is from calories burned at the gym, not calories cut out of my diet. I definitely have scaled back on the food, but usually I know that if I mess up I can go to the gym and burn the extra calories. Now I have a badly broken toe and I won't be fully mobile again for 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS! I guess I'll be focusing on abs and upper body for awhile...

Another thing I've been thinking a lot of lately is how much I would love to be under 200 pounds by my 18th birthday at the end of April. I know I can do it, but it's going to be especially challenging with this newly acquired injury. Hoping and praying I can come up with a plan to tackle this problem so that I'll be able to continue on this journey at a nice pace!

Gracie

Persistence is Key!

I think I worked harder this week then I ever have before (health wise). I tracked everything that I ate and drank and I kicked my butt at the gym. I went Mon-Thurs for 2 hours each time and I felt PHENOMENAL! On Thursday night I was on the elliptical for so long because I really didn't want to get off. What a change! Anyway, I really tried hard this week to keep going. I've been on a plateau for so long (5 months!) and I was really getting frustrated with my body. However, instead of giving up and eating my way into a sluggish state, I went to the gym and really pushed myself. I even went out to dinner and had a frozen yogurt last night and still felt good afterwards (none of that eating until you burst kind of stuff.) When I got on the scale this morning at my Weight Watchers meeting, I felt confident. And guess what happened... I LOST 3 LBS!!! I lost more this week then I have in the past 6 months.

I think part of the weight loss this week happened because I got past the mental part of weight loss. I finally started celebrating that my clothes were too big and I could go on an uphill hike for two hours without stopping. I also pushed myself a lot further then I thought possible when I was at the gym. I stayed on all of the cardio machines longer then I thought I could and in general I just did a lot more. I also ate pretty reasonably this week (I even treated myself to 1 scoop of ice cream everyday this week and I STILL lost 3 pounds). Anyway, there's not really a better way to start off a weekend!!

Gracie

Changing Habits

Last night at the gym, I was expressing my frustration to my gym pals. I've been trying so hard to lose weight and get in shape, but my efforts don't really seem to be paying off. Then we pulled out or iPhones and looked at pictures of what I looked like 3 years ago compared to what I look like today... there's a big difference! Since May of 2010, I've only lost 7 lbs, but my body has changed A LOT. I feel a lot stronger and my whole mentality about being physically active is completely changed. Now, I look forward to going to the gym and going to my weight watchers meeting. Before I did it because I thought I had to, and I always came up with excuses not to go.

Here's to non- scale victories!

1) I've dropped 3 pants sizes

2) I get compliments almost daily about how much healthier I look

3) People are calling me a great inspiration!

4) I'm paying a lot more attention to how my stomach feels after I eat, rather then what my head feels :)

5) Today I went to the gym ALL ALONE and enjoyed my workout! Usually I go with 2-3 other people, and that really helps me with accountability. I'm so proud that I went on my own today, even though nobody else did. I never would have done that a year ago.

That's all for now :)

Gracie

Lazy day

Only went to the gym for an hour today to do some low key exercise. I've decided that Thursday's are kind of like a day off. I still track all of my food and try and squeeze in some exercise, but I think it's best to give yourself a bit of a break occasionally. Keeping up with food and exercise is quite a task, so giving yourself a mental break and a physical break helps to keep you motivated so that you don't get frustrated and give up. Treating myself every once and awhile is much better then not treating myself at all, and definitely better then treating myself all the time! Got to enjoy a nonfat ice mocha and some time with friends. Great day!

Gracie

Well I must say...!

After yesterday's post I went to the gym and had a fantastic workout! The best one in awhile. My good friend Leigh and I worked with a new trainer and accomplished quite a bit. I did 20 minutes on the spin bike, 30 minutes on the elliptical, 50 leg presses, 50 pretzel sit ups, 30 up down kicks (on a 3 1/2 foot bench!), 50 squats with a weight in each hand, 35 kettle bell chest lifts, a series of leg raises with back kicks, forward and backward lunges across the gym and cross kicks across the gym. Boy am I sore today!!!

Another super amazing thing about yesterday was that when I got home from watching BL at a friends house, I got my first college acceptance letter!!! And, to make it even better, I was excepted to my number 1 school!!!! Yesterday was so fantastic!

Today I didn't get to the gym because I wasn't feeling very well, but I did do some cooking to prepare me for the rest of the week. Now it's time to get back to that homework :)

Gracie

New Revelations

Hey there!

So the past few weeks I've been particularly frustrated with my body. During the month of December, I was going to the gym 6 days a week and working really hard. I knew I was pushing myself pretty hard, but I really didn't want to gain a whole bunch of weight over the holidays. When I stepped on the scale at Weight Watcher's I was disappointed because I gained a few pounds one week and then lost a few ounces the next. I was confused because I knew I was putting in so much effort, but I really wasn't seeing the outcome I had hoped for. Then I realized why... I thought that because I was working out extra hard, I could eat like a maniac and still see results. Boy was I wrong!

This week at my meeting, a woman in attendance said, "If you want to see results, you have to work the WHOLE program." This really hit home for me because I knew that I wasn't working the whole program. I was focusing a lot in one area and not paying much attention to the others. I've learned throughout this experience that lack of exercise is not my problem. I love working out. I love it when I can really feel my muscles working and I love that soreness the next day because it shows just how hard I worked.

My biggest problem is food. My relationship with food was really unhealthy. I would eat when I was bored, lonely, sad, and tired. I never thought about what I was putting in my mouth. I think part of the reason I turned to it so much was because after I'd eat, I would feeling something. I think that I also turned to food to avoid dealing with my other problems and emotions. If I was stuffed our full or satisfied, I could feel that instead of feeling what I really should have (anger, sadness, frustration). As I'm learning more and more about my body, I'm trying to monitor when I'm eating, what I'm eating and the reason I'm eating.

Here's my biggest revelation of all... get ready!

I feel SO much better when I'm eating healthy foods to satisfy a physical hunger instead of eating junk food to satisfy an emotional or mental hunger! (Sounds kind of like a no brainer doesn't it :)

When I'm eating foods I know are good for me, not only does my body feel better, but my brain feels better too. I can think more clearly and I focus more easily. Also, when I really take the time to feel the emotions that come up, my whole being is in a lot better shape (mentally, physically and emotionally)

Well, there's today's insight!

Gracie

Don't Let the Title Fool You, I'm No Expert!

So it's 2011 and I've got some goals I'd really like to work at. I was so bad at keeping up my last blog site that I even forgot the URL... oops. This is my second attempt at sharing my weight loss journey with the world wide web!

A little about me: I'm a not so average high school senior running through life at a pretty moderate pace. I babysit like crazy (5 days a week usually), I spend a lot of time on my school work because it's not easy to maintain a 4.0 GPA(!), and I spend my free time at the gym or in front of the computer. I don't party, I hate school dances and living on the edge is definitely not for me. I'd much rather spend my time in a way that benefits me the most. And despite that no partying thing, I think my life is still pretty fun and exciting. My highs come from adrenaline and endorphins after a high intensity workout and the best part is, there's no hangover (except for the sore muscles the next day, but I LOVE that feeling!!)

Anyway, a lot happened in 2010, some good and some bad but all in all very memorable year. I worked harder then ever before at school, at work and at the gym... Especially at the gym! I'm 17 years old and I've been overweight since childhood. I was convinced that I was born to be a big girl, which I still believe is true, but there's a difference between being obese and being big boned. It's hard to admit that I was obese, it just sounds so degrading but I am proud to say that with hard work and extra effort that's no longer the case! BMI wise I am still overweight, but I am working hard to change that. I have been going to Weight Watchers for about 8 months now. Frustratingly, my weight has not dropped significantly but the important part to me is that I haven't given up yet. At my heaviest, I weighed 275 pounds and as of today I am at 234. Now, that is quite a change, but the majority of that weight was lost through exercise before I started Weight Watchers.

To make a long story short, it's 2011 now which is a huge year for me. In the next 12 months I will be turning 18, graduating from high school, traveling a little (hopefully!) and starting college. And just to make life a little more exciting, I would really like to make a solid effort in keeping a steady pace on my weight loss journey. I have two intentions for this blog:

1) To help keep me sane by writing down my successes, my failures, my frustrations and my breakthroughs

2) To hopefully inspire people to not give up on their journey, whether it be with weight loss or not. I want to inspire YOU and help you along because nobody can do it on their own (something else I've come to realize)

Well, that's all for now. Hope this post finds you all well!

Gracie